Neville Longbottom The Boy Who Lived
by wrongturn
Summary: Need anything more than the title? Well, here it goes: Harry's world has changed drastically, but he's still not quite alone. It seems Draco Malfoy too, knows the world is wrong. He wants out. But could it be right for Harry? HPDM SBRL
1. Key holes and missing potatoes

'Harry, its time to get up, you'll be late!' a gentle, but distant voice called from somewhere. 

'Just a few more minutes,' Harry mumbled into his pillow. He wondered why aunt Petunia was being so nice… what was wrong with her voice? It was different. 

A while later there was another voice. A different one. 

'Harry! Come one you lazy gi...er, boy. Yes, Lilly - I really **did** mean boy. Er… no, last I heard Prongs had passed out in the garage. Hey - Moony you wimp. Hit me with your fist not that damn - er - er… **cursed** encyclopaedia. Go take Lily to make breakfast - now.' 

'I **made** breakfast!' 

'Padfoot considerately doesn't want us to go hungry. It seems he's now eating both for a dog and human.' 

There was fond tenderness in that familiar voice... 

Another teasing sigh. 'I better go whip up _dearest Padfoot_ some dog food then. Remus, care to join me?' 

Harry had pulled his covered tightly over his head and squeezed his eyes shut. _Remus and Sirius. And… **Lilly?**_

'Harry c'mon!' Sirius's voice broke through. 'I had Wormtail working on that charm to get Prongs out the garage, but it seems your dad really was in a mood that night.' Sirius laughed loudly. 'Wormtail's got his wand stuck in the key hole, now.' 

'You're dead...' Harry whispered. 'You're all dead...' 

The covered were ripped away from him and Harry rolled onto his back. 

Sirius Black was clearly **not** dead. 

Harry stared. There were no deep ragged line etched too far into his once-wasted face. His pale blue eyes were alive and dancing his long hair swung as he held the blanket above his head. 

Sirius cocked his head to one side like a dog, noticing the odd look Harry was giving him. 

'What's wrong? You have a nightmare or somethin'?' 

Harry shook his head, and threw himself on Sirius into a hug. 'I thought you were dead!' 

'Jesus, Harry,' Sirius grinned, still managing to stand as the skinny boy threw himself on the man. 'That must have been one hell of a nightmare.' 

'No!' said Harry pulling back. 'Lupin said you were!' 

'MOONY!' 

They waited. 

Lupin appeared in the doorway. Harry goggled. Lupin too, looked about ten years younger. His soft brown hair was still streaked with delicate silver, but their weren't so many lines on his face. 

'Padfoot? Ah, Harry. You're up.' 

'Have you been telling this kid I'm **dead**?' 

Lupin smiled and his amber eyes lit up. 'Why would I tell Harry you were dead?' 

Sirius stared at him blankly. 'I don't know…' 

Lupin strode over next to Sirius and they stood over Harry's bed, still duvet-less thanks to Sirius who was clutching it protectively. 

Harry was glad he never slept naked. Harry froze. Where **had** he slept? This room was littered with clothes - that were definitely not **his**. His clothes were large and washed out. These clothes… **weren't**. 

'You look a bit disoriented from being woken… _like that_.' He shot a pointed look at Sirius and pinched his arm. 'We'll leave you to change. You trunk's down stairs. You left your wand downstairs last night. Have you packed everything?' 

'Where am I going?' 

Sirius snorted. 'Hogwarts!' 

*** 

Harry stumbled out of bed, and into an unfamiliar hallway. He fingered the delicate picture frames on the wall with curiosity. 

This picture featured **him** - would you believe - at about seven years of age with an oversized helmet on his head stationed on a motorbike. Sirius and Lupin were lounging together in the background on a lush stretch of grass, looking more than comfortable with each other and James looking very good in his own biker robes, holding Harry in position while each swayed from side to side. 

'New Hogwart's uniform, huh kid?' 

'You!' 

It was his father. (His **dead** father). Almost the exact same voice imprinted on his mind from Snape's memory. 

Harry threw his arms around the older, but still very alike image of himself. And then jumped back when he touched solid flesh and bone. 

'YOU'RE REAL!' 

James looked pretty haggard, and his eyes were bloodshot, but he was still very much alive. He smiled crookedly. 

'Have you been eating Padfoot's cooking?' 

Before Harry could reply, Wormtail came panting up. Hatred filled Harry's face. 

James didn't notice. He turned around and smirked at the little fat man. 

'Prongs!' he puffed. 'Please… my… wand…! Back - please!' 

'What wand?' 

'My wand!' 

Harry stormed off with rage. He didn't know what was going on, but people didn't seem to **hate** Wormtail. 

After having walked into the exact same bathroom seven time through different doors, got stuck in a trick stair and almost succumbed to _death-by-curtains_, Harry looked almost as haggard as his father. 

The kitchen was alive with life. Lilly was at the stove, Remus and Sirius were arguing, wands raised from opposite sides of the table while a gleaming fried egg was hovering in the air between them. 

A snowy white owl fluttered to his shoulder. 

'_Hedwig_?' 

Of all the things different in Harry's life, he was surprised he still had her. 

A squelching sound caught his attention. 

Lilly had gotten fed up with Sirius's and Remus's 'childish antics' and had used her own wand to smash the egg into the wall. 

'You're all to fat anyway,' Lilly said. 'Harry's the one who really needs feeding. You look just like your dad,' she frowned. 'Always doing everything with your food your not supposed to.' 

'Sirius stole that potato last night,' Lupin volunteered. 

'I DID NOT!' 

Lupin chuckled. 'Harry could die from malnutrition Padfoot, and all you care about is minor technicalities? I thought we raised you better than that!' 

'I didn't, Lilly,' Sirius was insisting, his eyes were wide and earnest. 'It was Wormtail! I SWEAR! He's so damn greedy I'm surprised he wasn't a freaking pig instead of a rat.' 

'Sirius,' Lilly smiled. 'Sentences can be as effective without cussing.' 

'Yeah, yeah,' Sirius muttered under his breath as if he'd heard it all before. And for all Harry knew, he probably had. 

'And you're having one less meatball tonight to make it fair.' 

'YOU CAN'T COMPARE A **MEATBALL** TO A POTATO!' yelled Sirius in outrage. 

'Yeah,' Lupin nodded. 'Meatballs are nicer. I'll be having **lots** tonight.' 

'You two have lots **every** night,' said Lilly briskly. 'You're welcome to try and cook yourself.' 

They all laughed as if this was some big joke. _Probably is._

'But Harry won't even _get_ the meatball!' 

'Yeah,' Lupin snickered. 'We'll have to send it by post. You don't know **what** Hogwart's is feeding them these days. ' 

'House elf _á la mode_!' and they all laughed again. 

'Dumbledore fricassé!' 

*** 

Sirius took Harry on the back of his notorious flying motor, while the rest wished Harry off at the house James had fixed himself up before Lilly saw him and was smiling a broad smile and waving Harry off too. 

Though Harry knew he'd never been on Sirius's flying motor bike, he couldn't forget a dream he'd had when he was younger. A recurring dream that Uncle Vernon had never delighted in hearing. 

'SIRIUS!' 

'WHAT?' 

'DO YOU KNOW MY UNLCE VERNON?' 

'YOU'RE WHAT?' 

'UNLCE VERNON!' 

'YOUR VERNON?' 

Harry hoped Sirius was not being particularly difficult. 

'Sirius,' said Harry once again when the roaring had stopped and they we're at the Kings Cross Station. 

'Hold on a sec,' Sirius used the summoning charm on a trolley about to be seized by a muggle. They shot him dirty looks full of masked confusion and he waved pleasantly at them. 

'Yeah, what?' 

Harry walked behind as Sirius pushed the trolley. 

'Do you know un… - anyone - called - called _Vernon_?' 

The muggle started to come up in boils. 

'Uncle Vernon? What about him?' 

'You **know** him?' 

'Of course I know him, Harry.' Sirius gave him another look. 'The stingy rat threw out my helmet when I left it there. He paid **dearly**.' 

'Why'd you leave you're helmet there?' 

'Are you OK, Harry? We put a semi-permanent sticking charm on it. I had to have told you about it at least a hundred times. 

'Oh,' said Harry. 'Oh.' 

*** 

When Sirius and Harry had passed through the barrier, everything looked as it should be. 

'Sirius,' said Harry wearily, phrasing his question carefully. 'Would you say my friends like me?' 

'Bloody hell, Harry! Why wouldn't they like you? Did you and Parvati have an argument?' 

'Parvati?' Harry asked. 'What's so special about her?' 

Sirius choked on his own tongue. 

'Three years, Harry! I barely went three days without someone new - well, until Moony, I mean.' He smiled sheepishly. 

'You and Professor Lupin are… are… _you know_.' 

Sirius gave him a look once again. 'We're together. Yeah. Didn't we tell you…? I'm _sure_ we did.' 

'No, no,' said Harry briskly. 'I just forgot. So - do you like Parvati, then? Is she nice? - In your… er, opinion, I mean.' 

Sirius's eyebrows snaked up. 'I don't think she's as nice as Ron does.' 

'RON?' 

'Shit Harry! Didn't you know he had the hots for her?! Bloody hell! I mean - I thought it was **obvious**…' 

'But,' said Harry faintly. 'I thought... I though he liked **Hermione**! You **do** know Hermione?' 

'Harry they've been broken up for AGES! Don't you guys **talk** anymore?' 

'Oh, right,' said Harry dizzily. 

'Are you sure you're-' 

'Sirius! Who killed... _Vol..._ You-know-who?' 

'Who? - Just kidding.' 

'WHO?!' 

Sirius's eyebrows flew even high. 'And this isn't some sort of pop quiz you forgot to complete?' 

'NO!' 

'Neville Longbottom,' he said quizzically. 'The Boy Who Lived.' 

Sirius shot him yet **another** look, and was about to ask him of his welfare again, but he'd barely opened his mouth. His eyes narrowed and his hand gripped his wand. 

'POTTER! What the hell is going on?!' Never had that voice given Harry so much hope. 

Harry spun around to see a very familiar boy stomping towards him. Did Malfoy mean what he though he meant? Did **he** realise what a nasty trick was being played on his life? The glitch in time, you could say. Or reality. 

'MALFOY!' Harry screamed with joy. He leapt the remaining distance and threw his arms around the boy. 

Malfoy patted him awkwardly, obviously enjoying the familiarity of Harry before he came to his senses. Malfoy threw Harry off with a snort of disgust. 

Sirius seemed to have wandered off. He was no where in sight. 

'Get out of it Potter!' he hissed under his breath, glancing around. Relief sparked his face when everyone was too absorbed in crying siblings and farewells. 

'Sorry,' said Harry breathlessly. He was still smiling. 'I - uh - so its really **you**? The _real_ Malfoy, I mean?' Harry's held his breath. 

'I bloody hope so! Who do you think it is? Pansy? Do we still have the _famous Harry Potter_ with us?' 

'Not famous.' Harry shook his head grimly. 'Now it's _Neville Longbottom - the boy who lived.'_

'You have got to be fucking with me!' Malfoy snorted. 'That little runt? You're - ah... **not lying** then?' 

'No,' said Harry glumly. 'Do you have anything to do with this?'' 

Once again Malfoy's temper flared. 

'Potter!' he hissed leaning in an under tone. He leant close to Harry's ear so he could almost raise his voice without being heard. 'I'm living with God damn **muggles** and hundreds of _bleeding dogs, _Potter! **MUGGLES! **Filthy disgusting creatures - who - who. Who LOVE me! They fucking LOVE me Potter! My name isn't even **MALFOY!'**

Harry smiled. This seemed to infuriate Malfoy. 'What the fuck are you smiling about, Potter?! My life's in ruins and I don't even have the Malfoy **NAME!** Draco fucking **DURSLEY **would you believe! **HAH**!' 

*~*~*~* 

Well, I thought that was a nice ending to chapter one, anyway. I think I'm starting to get obsessed with Harry/Draco ships. Hmmm. Well, reviews appreciated, thanks. 


	2. Christmas and cussing

a/n: not really much to say, is there? Um... apart from thank you Alynna Lis Eachann; misty-me; Zoken; KraziKrysti; and Mella deRanged; because you were all so nice and took the time to review me, so yeah. Thanks. I wrote this for you. Haki too, though she probably won't read this! 

a/n ii: there's not to much Harry/Draco interaction in this, but they WILL give into my slashy wishes. Because I say so. Ha ha. Okay, so read on and reviews appreciated! 

*~*~*~* 

... 

Harry smiled. This seemed to infuriate Malfoy. 'What the fuck are you smiling about, Potter?! My life's in ruins and I don't even have the Malfoy **NAME! **Draco fucking **DURSLEY** would you believe! **HAH!'**

Malfoy stole a deep breath before continuing. 

'I have some sort of **MONSTROSITY** for a cousin, this bloody Marge women is shacked up with some **Fubster** guy - and DO YOU KNOW WHY I WOKE UP THIS MORNING?' 

'Um... no.' 

'I woke up because a fucking **MUTT** had his teeth around my **ANKLE**!' 

All these words, though shouted under in breath, were close to his ear, and almost defining. 

'I bet you that fuckwit squib's been messing around with his cauldron again! I get the pathetic excuse for a life! And he gets to be **FAMOUS!** I will **MUDER** HIM!' 

Harry didn't doubt it. He'd never seen Malfoy disregard his cool composture like this. 

'Calm it, Malfoy,' said Harry coolly. 'I'm going out with Parvati.' 

'So?' 

'So?! She's **gorgeous**!' 

Malfoy snorted to himself. 

'**What?**' 

'Umm… nothing.' 

'I know it's something!' Heat rose in Harry's face at Malfoy **daring** to spoil that nice surprise fate had given him. 

'Yeah, and I bet you're having a secret affair with the Weasel.' 

Harry spluttered. 'I am **NOT!**' 

'How do **you** you? He's told you it's off, hasn't he?' 

'Because I **KNOW**!' he shrieked hotly. He was shaking with fury. Why did he just jump Malfoy there and then? Give him a broken nose. That would sort him out. 

Draco snickered. 

'You're in love with the **WEASEL**! HA HA.' 

'I'm NOT!' Harry glared furiously at him. 'I bet you don't even **have** a girlfriend!' 

'But you have a **BOYFRIEND**!' 

'SHUT UP!' 

'Potty' loves the Weasel! **Admit** it!' he jostled, positively gleeful. 'You love Weasley!' 

'HARRY!' said Sirius astounded. He was back. 'Is this true?' 

'No! We're just **joking**! _Weren't we?_' 

Harry nudged Malfoy. 

'Why don't you go find us a carriage?' Malfoy looked indignant at being ordered about. 

'I've got a carriage.' 

'Then take my stuff there.' He looked even more incredulous. Finally he settled for a haughty look (and a poke in the back) and stomped of to the crimson steam engine. 

*** 

'So… Harry,' said Sirius carefully. 'I never knew you… I.. reckoned you… didn't know you swung that… Harry. I thought you **hated **him.' 

'I do,' said Harry delicately. 'But I just needed to talk to him. You know, what with Malfoy… um… Malfoy fancies Hermione!' 

'WHAT?' 

'Yeah - yeah. And he wants - wanted my blessings!' (There was a very far away 'I DON'T!' as if someone had shouted it from behind a carriage window). 

'Who fancies her? I thought she was still hung up on Ron!' 

'She is?' 

'Who fancies her, Harry!' 

'Malfoy does! I just told you - and he wanted my blessings!' 

Sirius took a few hesitant steps back from Harry. Clearly unconvinced. 

'What?' 

The loud whistle blew and Harry glanced at the train. 

'Okay, Harry. Well, er… you have a good year!' 

Harry ran to the train and wrenched the door open. 'See ya!' he shouted, with one last grin. This life was where the dead lived. 

'Hey! Harry! Did you dump Parvati for Dursely?' Sirius eyebrows shot up. 

'WHAT?' Harry yelled as the train started to move. Cold hands grabbed Harry around the waste and pulled him inside before he fell out. 

'Close the door, will you?' said Malfoy coldly. 'If I'm stuck in this freak world, you'll be stuck with me. We're in the end compartment.' 

And outside hidden behind the discarded make of smoke, Sirius's overactive imagination was working over time. 

'Prongs won't be happy when he hears about this,' he mused to himself. He left, mounted his motorbike and took to the September skies. 

*** 

'POTTER!' he snatched stood up and snatched the chocolate frog out of Harry's hands. 

'HEY!' 

Malfoy threw it on the floor and stamped on it like some spoilt child. 

Harry glared up at him as something that had clearly been milling in Malfoy's mind threatened to spill forth. _What is it now?_ Harry thought. Malfoy had not done anything but complain about this reality, and refused to believe that maybe the Hogwart's reality was a fake one. 

'The celebrate CHRISTMAS, Potter! And do you know what they fucking do on... **CHRISTMAS?!**' 

'Ooh, no. Presents, right?' 

'Fucking right! I get **PRESENTS!** And they look HAPPY about it! They **SMILE**! And do you know WHY they look happy - Potter? Do you know **why** they... _smile_?' 

Harry shook his head. 

'Because they **LOVE** me! And they… they think… that I… _The_ Draco **Malfoy**… LOVE them!' he kicked the seats in anger after having so much difficulty getting the lasts words out. Harry recoiled. 'Do you UNDERSTAND?!' 

'That was my last chocolate frog.' 

Malfoy looked about ready to strangle him. Or at least hex Harry into oblivion. 

Harry leant the furthest away in a chair as he could from Malfoy and held his palms up in surrender. 

'How do you know this stuff? Sure they couldn't be celebrating Christmas in _September_?' 

Malfoy suppressed the murderous urge to hit him. His worked up eyes flashed dangerously. 

'They have pictures **EVERYWHERE!**' he shrieked hysterically. 'The **creepiest** things I have ever **seen**! Because they're all dead! No one fucking **MOVES**!' 

*** 

In the Potters' kitchen… 

A shattered egg was still lying hopeless maimed on the kitchen floor crying out silently for help, and Sirius had all four friends (yes, Wormtail is considered a friend) sitting at the large table where he made the biggest deal out of it he could. 

He walked over and snatched Lupin's so-called encyclopaedia away, and tucked it under his arm. 

'**HEY!**' 

'Shut up Moony, I have an announcement.' 

Everyone groaned. Moony raised his eyebrows once more. 'Padfoot, love, you've had an **anouncement** for the past twenty minutes. I'm sure its already come and gone.' 

Everyone snickered at that. 

'**FINE**.' Sirius walked towards the hall grinning. '**DON'T **listen to me about who's Harry's cheating on Parvati with!' 

'I LOVE YOU PADFOOT!' James cried hopelessly at Sirius's retreating back, but to no avail. 'Attention seeker,' he finally muttered before picking up the chair that had been knocked over and sitting back down on it. 

Wormtail climbed off the floor and back on his chair, muttering darkly to himself. 

'Was he telling the truth?' wondered Lupin out loud. 

'I suppose he was,' said Lilly thoughtfully. 'But he might be trying to get us back for the meatball thing.' 

'What meatball thing?' chorused James and Wormtail. Lupin and Lilly shared superior looks. 

'Only that you're a freakin' pig!' Sirius shouted from beyond the door. 

*** 

It was later when they'd cornered Sirius under the table in the kitchen after endless teaser's and hints. 

'Hey!' shouted Sirius in surprised. '**That's an ambush**!' 

Pettigrew cackled somewhat evilly for a fat little man with a podgy face. Everyone turned to stare at him. 

Sirius clutched the hairy meatball in his palm to his chest like a trapped animal staring from face to face. There was no escape… 

'What have you to say about my son?' Lilly brandished her wand and smirked. Lupin too, and James brought out two wands with a flourish. One of them was smaller and more stumpy looking. It was chipped and battered. 

Sirius decided wands didn't fair too well getting stuck in key holes. 

He took his chance and went for it. Throwing the dirty meatball at Wormtail's face he slipped past him with surprising agility. 

Lilly had stopped him with a flick of her wand. Well, after he hit that wall and fell to the floor, anyway. 

'Okay,' surrendered Sirius, his voice slightly muffled. 'What do you want to know?' 

'Good,' Lilly smiled. She gave the rest a Lilly-knows-best look, and released Sirius. 'Sit down and spill.' 

'Do I **at least** get my dirty meatball?' All faces turned to Wormtail who let out an innocent little burp. 

Sirius grabbed a handful of Spaghetti and Meatballs of James plate and dumped it on his while all eyes were shooting Wormtail disgusted looks. 

'Padfoot, **darling**,' said James sweetly turning back to look at him. Sirius wiped his stick hands on the insides of his pockets. 'What were you saying about Harry?' 

Sirius cast his eyes around the room to make sure he had everyone's attention on him. Remus was saying something under his breath to Lilly while he mentally measured his bowl up to check whether anything was out of place, and Lilly eyed Sirius bowl with suspicion. 

(Which was only fair, because Sirius had been swallowing his mouthfull's whole, like usual, and now it was so full, spaghetti dripped over the sides.) 

Sirius cleared his throat loudly for attention. 'As you might have gathered, Harry is cheating on Parvati with someone we all know. The question is…' he raised his voice dramatically. 'WHO?' 

'Ooh! Ooh!' Wormtail bounced in his seat. 'It's Padma!' 

Everyone turned to glare at him. Sirius had to have denied that many countless times. 

Sirius coughed. '_Stupid_.' 

'And its not Hermione?' James raised his eyebrows, trying to not look to interested. Hah. They all saw right through **that**. 

Sirius widened his eyes with sincerity. 'They were so **sweet** together. You should have seen them.' 

'_Accio bowl_,' said Lilly coolly and Sirius bowl landed neatly in front of her. Sirius eyes popped out of his head. 

'That was fucking unfair!' he shrieked getting to his feet. 

'Sit down.' 

Slowly but surely Sirius shot Lilly the darkest look he could while the rest looked on in admiration. 

'On second thoughts, you don't have to tell us Sirius.' 

'I don't?' 

'No,' she smiled. 'But my cooking **does** look awfully nice…' Lilly picked up a forked and tantalisingly slowly dipped it in, twirled it around and raised it to her mouth. 

Sirius was watching her his face avid with horror, his strong hands clutching the sides of his chair so tightly it almost turned to dust under his fingers. 

'You wouldn't...' he whispered weakly. 'OKAY! SHIT! I said **OKAY!** OKAY!' 

Lilly put the fork back down. 'What have I said about cussing?' 

Sirius sulked. 'Just… leave the food alone.' 

'Now, you were saying about Harry?' 

Sirius shot her yet another dirty look and cleared his throat. 'Harry is cheating on Parvati with… _dun dun dun_ -' 

'SIRIUS!' 

'No,' Sirius said blankly. ' I'd never do that to Moony.' 

'SIRIUS!' 

'NO! It's Dursley for fucks sake!' 

** 'DURSELY!'** James yelled jumping to his feet and snorting. 'You fucking liar!' 

'Watch you're fucking mouth Prongs!' Sirius yelled back clearly enjoying the drama. 'You should have seen them… hugging, kissing…' 

Meanwhile, ignoring both of the yelling marauders Lilly had turned to Remus quietly and asked whether or not Sirius **was** actually getting them back for the 'meatball thing'. 

'I'm not sure,' Lupin replied cocking his head thoughtfully, an unconscious habit he'd picked up off Sirius. 'I don't think he'd be so creative. In fact, I'm surprised he held out so long.' 

Lilly chuckled. 

'I suppose you're right,' she mused. 'Poor Parvati, I think you should have a talk with him Remus.' 

'Me?' 

'I don't want him treating girls this way, Remus. I'm sure he's picked up this habit off Sirius. All those stories he used to tell him. Its bound to have an effect.' 

'You're right,' Remus said, pulling his glasses off and chewing on of the ends thoughtfully. 'Shouldn't James do it? Or you?' 

'Me? Harry's a teenager Remus. All I exist to do is cook and clean.' 

Remus smiled ruefully. 'James, then? 

'James was barely any better. He always thought hexes were the way to a girls heart. Remus, you're about as gentlemen-ly as they come - and you were always tied up in those pranks - don't give me that look - I **know** you did nothing to stop them.' 

He grinned wider. 'Wormtail, then?' 

Both red head and brunette burst out laughing at that. 

'What?' James snarled turning to them perhaps more fiercely that he'd meant to. God knows why he and Sirius had ended up pinning each other to the ground so neither of them could move until one gave in. 

'Nothing, love.' Lilly stood up. 'I'm going to write a letter to Harry -' 

Sirius looked horrified. 'What if it's intercepted? I'll get in **loads** of trouble!' 

'However much damage a skinny sixteen year old can inflict on a fully grown man, I'd still like to understand what was going on.' 

'What if the owl dies and someone finds it and uses the information to **black** you're sun?!' 

'Ooh no,' Remus smirked. 'We never thought about that one. Lilly you **must** be carefully.' 

'This isn't a freaking laughing matter, Moony!' Sirius struggled once again in James's hold, but neither was giving in. 

~*~*~ 

Hah. So, Sirius grassed on him. But only after mortal torture. Okay, anyway, that was suppose to show a bit at how close Remus and Lilly are (not that I'm implying anything... hem hem...) Remus wouldn't cheat on Sirius! 

You are awful, awful people with awful imaginations. But poor James, being so shocked and then wrestled to the ground. And grr, Pettigrew **did** have to be in it. 

Anyway. That was long for me. Two thousand words give or take a few (no I am not exaggerating). And thanks again for you're nice reviews, and hopefully people like this chapter and I'll write another?? Reviews appreciated and welcome - Harry/Draco forever!! Ha ha ha! 

ps. if anyone has any prefence to what type of Neville The boy Who Lived will be (I don't know, normal-Nevile conceited-Neville, talented-Neville, or anything) please drop a review with an idea. Really, because I have no idea what you like, don't like. Cheers. 

Viva Harry/Draco FOREVER!! 


	3. Cards and Cats

DICLAIMER: No disclaimer today, if you haven't got the message by now, well....... 

a/n sooooooooooo. Not much to say. Thank you for all your reviews. If I think of something worth saying, I'll try and remember to tell you next time. Err… yeah. 

Now, just got to thank some lovely people. 

**Mystic Angel-Devil Queen,** I don't _try_ to torture them… it just happens that way. Heh. I think I'm going to try and make them a bit happier though. Hopefully. 

**SilverPrincess3** Harry/Draco ROCKS. 

**~Anti Adam (AM83220@aol.com)** Wow. *hands you the longest review ever crown* 

** The Anti Social Squirrel** Slash is loooooovely! 

** sunshine ** Joke?! I will FORCE Harry and Draco together with my bare hands if they refuse to go out! Erm… yeah. 

** Layce74 ** Am I anything BUT freaky? 

** KraziKrysti ** You're names at the top again! I hope my email helped. 

** Sisamaria ** Thanks for reviewing my stuff! Reviews NEVER bug me! 

Bye, I'm off to the Rent-a-plot shop. 

**Chapter three, Cards and Cats ** *** 

The rain had started pounding the thick glass windows long ago, drowning out the country side around them. 

If, indeed, it was still countryside. Hmm… who knew? 

Harry turned to face Malfoy was sitting over the other end of the seats. He was reading a book and then pausing to write in it. Harry didn't ask. 

The journey had past by agonisingly slowly - but, he supposed it was just because he was with Malfoy who made no effort to speak to him whatsoever, though it left a clear trail for his thoughts. 

Like about Parvati. Harry had not really had a girlfriend for all his life, though Cho did come close. He had never really felt the need to, so why did he start _now?_ In fact, Harry was starting to think everything would be easier if he didn't step off the train. 

'Malfoy?' 

'What, Potter?' 

'How come Hedwig's still my owl?' 

He looked up irritably having been disturbed for an _owl_. 

'Why do I care?' 

Harry glared at him. 'It was a simple question, Malfoy.' 

'Simple indeed.' Malfoy's good-looking facial features relaxed and he rubbed his tired eyes. He made quite a long show of slipping the book away before answering. 'I suppose there are something's we can't change. Like _you_,' he added distastefully. 

'But I _have_ changed!' he insisted. 'I'm just Harry, now. Just Harry.' 

'Well, _just Harry_. I am Draco fucking Dursely, so excuse me if I don't give a fermented rat's spleen.' 

Harry glared at the blonde who had arranged his face as innocently as possible. The train made slight bumps in the silence. Though he spoke calmly, Malfoy's voice was still bitter. He seemed to resent Harry all the more. 

Instead of retorting Harry fell once again into his own world. His confused thoughts were also those of gratitude that he had been able to meet his parents, and had been completely surprised. Neither were like their younger selves, each older, wiser and much happier. 

It felt like hot liquid slid through his stomach as he thought that. _ Maybe everything will be okay after all…_

After stepping off the crimson steam engine together, (and Harry was quite relieved because when they had been trying to decipher whatever they could in their lives, Malfoy had purposely been making up ridiculous facts about Harry, seemingly enjoying it so; because having a relationship with Ron seemed to be incorporated in many of them, that Harry had to admire his creative skills) they were met with a furious wind and howling rain. 

Harry felt a jolt in his stomach as Malfoy turned towards him, soaking wet and delicate in the dim light. He shook his head and made a mental note to ask Madame Pomfrey for some stomach ache medicine. 

Under the inky black sky they made their way into the carriages when Harry noticed the thoughtful and almost slightly worried look on Malfoy's face. 

'What is it?' Harry asked as Malfoy climbed in the Thestral drawn carriage behind him. 

Malfoy looked almost defensive. 'Nothing,' he muttered. 

Harry shrugged it off and another student joined them. 'You don't mind, do you?' the blonde Ravenclaw asked dreamily. 'Only my friend managed to claw her way into Neville Longbottom's carriage, and even without me it's rather full…' 

And Luna floated into a spare seat. 

'No shit!' Malfoy cackled. 'You actually have _friends_ in this reality?! No way!' Then he realised he was actually talking to the Ravenclaw and turned away (not forgetting the snort of disgust). 

Harry blushed for Malfoy. 'Sorry, Luna.' 

She turned to face him with a pensive look across her soft features. 'I know you… daddy wrote an article about your Godfather, didn't he?' 

Harry's blood almost ran could before he realised it must have been the one where Sirius Black was thought to be a muggle. He exhaled sharply. But before he could brush the hair out of his eyes, another cloaked figure had entered the carriage. 

'There you are!' it shouted to Harry in surprise. Or rather Ron did. He threw himself down next to Luna and his face was contrasted between relief and annoyance. 'Parvati had been out of her head with WORRY! Fuck! Why the bloody hell is _Dursley_ in here?! He's such a fucking cry baby we'll drown!' 

Harry's face pictured the all the defensive, all the outraged, and all the shocked feelings all in one with nothing to spare. 

'_Ron!'_

And in a flash of orange light Ron had been slammed off his chair and into the wall. Harry had barely realised the carriage had been moving, and his leg's wobbled as he rushed over the small space. 

Malfoy spat on Ron. The redhead's eyes were unfocused but clearly furious. The normal Ron reaction, of course, was to jump on Malfoy and pound the life out of him. But his woozy condition did not permit him to. 

'Bloody WEASLEY!' he sneered. 'What did you expect? Why are you fucking _surprised_?' 

Obviously this was a rhetorical question, and Malfoy pulled the book once again from his robes and began reading and writing again. 

*-*-* 

The living room door burst open and Lilly was framed in the doorway her eyes narrowed and a suppressed smile on her heart-shaped lips. 

'Sirius. Why is there _Spaghetti_ sauce on the inside of your robes!?' 

'Spaghetti? - Oh fuck… I - er… only - I-' 

'Furthermore why are your robes in my wash basket?! You have a perfectly good wand!' 

'Because - I - meatballs - I-' 

Remus snickered. 'Don't complain Lilly. There were several potatoes he had stolen and no doubt forgotten about in the pockets of his last set.' 

'THREE!' 

Lilly almost couldn't hold in the laugh that was about to escape her. 'You were stealing food _again?!'_

'NO!' 

Remus twisted the arm of his glasses between his fingers and turned his head away inconspicuously. 'Not much…' he muttered. 

'Prongs stole them first!' 

James who had been hiding behind the sofa popped up suddenly. 'Only because Moony took them off Wormtail!' 

This stopped Remus laughing and he almost feel off his chair. 'You saw that?!' 

'Oh,' said Lilly. 'Is that why Peter was crying?' 

Sirius cocked his head to the side as if not telling something. Only James noticed and he grinned evilly. 

'Really? I thought it was because Sirius hexed him…' 

'PRONGS!' 

'You were hexing at the _dinner table_!' 

*-*-*

It was only after Harry had avoided Parvati countless times and was sitting over the other end of the Gryffindor table and the sorting had finished that he realised the majority of the students had been sorted into Slytherin. 

A fact that had not gone unnoticed to Malfoy, and he was looking more than slightly put-out as his sneering cold face looked on with disgust at the 'cry-baby' first years. 

But what else Harry hadn't seen, but Malfoy had, was the disgusted glares Malfoy on his own was receiving from the whole of Slytherin house. 

Draco almost fell off his chair (if it had not been an undignified thing) when Ernie Macmillan seemed to be the main conductor of the dirty looks. _Why weren't people _afraid_ of him?!_

There was a scraping of chairs that interrupted both boys train of thoughts and familiar '_Hem, hem.'_ [a/n DUN DUN DUN!] 

The girlish yet vulgar voice spoke up. 'Presenting Minister for Magic and Head of Hogwarts, Cornelius Fudge!' And then a tittering girly laugh. 

Fudge coughed and stood up himself, taking his bowler had of his head and loosening the collar of his pin-stripped suit and looked with over-heartiness at the students around him. 

Harry and Draco glanced apprehensively at each other from each table and an uneasy feeling was hitting the walls of Harry's stomach. He didn't like it at all. Nor did he understand the reason for this completely pointless and shocking change. None whatsoever! 

'Those who are new to this school perhaps do not know the code of conduct very well. The Forbidden forest is forbidden, and so is wondering anywhere except your dormitories after six pm -' 

Harry and Draco exchanged looks once more - 

'There is no magic, games, food, conversing or anything other than walking in the hallways. A full list of this can be found in Mr Macnair's office. Lastly, any ghost sightings should be reported directly to your head of house immediately, or you might land yourselves in trouble too. But on a much more pleasurable notes, there are opening spots on the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Slytherin teams for second years and above. With all that said and heeded. Food is served.' 

Harry exhaled loudly and the churning in his stomach loosened a bit. He pushed himself forward and rolled up his sleeves. 

'At least I have a chance of getting on the Quidditch team,' he said to no one in particular. Seamus gave him a funny look, shook his sandy locks and said nothing. 

A moment later he couldn't contain himself. 'What are you on, Harry?' 

'Huh?' 

'Getting on the Quidditch team! We're not going to kick you off no matter how much of a sorry case you are.' 

He managed a weak grin and glanced over to Malfoy. He wasn't looking, thought. In fact, he looked about, if not more, murderous than he had when Ron had insulted him. Malfoy's hands, thought reluctant, were itching to hex one of his house mates. He and Blaise Zabini were not getting along too well. 

It was in a second that Blaise Zabini was curled up on the floor hissing in agony without any known cause. And if it wasn't for Harry's sharp seeker abilities he might not have seen Malfoy pocket his wand once again. 

In fact he wasn't sure if he had seen Malfoy draw it. He made a mental note not to get on the bad side of him. 

Harry watched the triumphant smirk slide over Malfoy's cold features and felt a twinge of pride. Harry could have slapped his own face. He should be running over and seeing if Zabini was okay! Not smiling! But he was. - _But not much_ he insisted. 

-*-*-* 

Harry had spent most of the night being confused beyond belief, and most of the morning. He had been yelled at by Parvati before cowering in his dormitories, and then going down to breakfast still starving from the night before because all that had been served was some lumpy 'health food'. 

Harry glanced anxiously around the tables, looking for changes as he nibbled on lumpy porridge that tasted as if that bowls hadn't been washed in months. Maybe Hermione had been successful with her SPEW campaign. 

_HERMIONE!_ Why was she sitting at the Ravenclaw table?! 

But Harry's thought's came crashing down on his head when heavy gold goblets clanked to the floor. Malfoy stood nonchalantly face to face with Ernie Macmillan gazing at him coldly with hard grey eyes. 

Harry had to admire his eyes. _ Wait… No, why would...? WHY!_

'If being a pathetic excuse for a _wizard_ wasn't enough, you have to block my way, too.' Harry watched Malfoy in amazement as he took on Ernie Macmillan - with a tough, stocky build - and Crabbe and Goyle as his henchmen. 

_ This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder…_

'Fuck you magic trash!' Ernie snarled. 'Even as a _Mudblood_ you wouldn't be good enough to lick my boots!' 

Malfoy's eyes narrowed dangerous. He stepped closer to Ernie and a flicker of uncertainty flitted across his face. 

'Worried, Macmillan?' he said softly, moving evermore closer. Ernie swallowed but still he glared on defiantly. 'How _is_ Blaise by the way?' 

'You don't have enough magic to transfigure a TEABAG!' 

Harry glared enviously as Malfoy stood so close to Ernie they were almost touching. _Hey wait! I didn't -_

'Did I say I cursed him?' Malfoy cocked his head to one side. 'I wanted to wish him well.' 

'Like fuck you did, cry-baby!' 

'I did,' he murmured, his eyes flashing. 'Before he was dead.' 

Ernie's face screwed up with hate. 'Fuck you! Cry like you did last time! GO ON!' 

It seemed Malfoy needed to more provocation that that. Ernie was thrown backwards against the Slytherin table with a force no one saw, and Malfoy had left the hall as silently as he came as if he was never there apart from the billow of his robes. 

-*-*-*-* 

It was after Harry too, flounced out in a bout of anger after being cornered bye Parvati and escaping by the skin of his teeth with a mumbled excuse that he met Draco again. 

The nimble-fingered blonde caught his arm with cold hands and before Harry had spun him around, he could recognise the freezing touch. 

'You're hands are really, cold, Malfoy.' Harry rubbed his arm and couldn't suppress the shivers down his spine. Instead he ignored them. 

Her regarded him with quiet amusement for a moment. 

Harry glanced over his shoulder in case anyone had come to find him. 'Is there anything you wanted.' 

'You really have no clue, do you?' 

Malfoy waited patiently, but Harry just shrugged. 

'Owls, Potter! Owls!' 

'Owls?' said Harry quizzically. 

'The things that deliver POST! The owls that usually arrive over breakfast but DIDN'T! Please tell me you know what owls are!?' 

'I know what _owls_ are!' said Harry irritably. 'What _about_ them?' 

'I just told you,' he said flatly. 'Are you listening to me?' 

'I don't see why…' 

'And what about the witch who usually brings us all the sweets on the train, huh? _Tell_ me you didn't not notice that!' 

Before Harry could defend himselve, Malfoy was hissing again. 

'Or perhaps you didn't notice the crackpot's gone? You'll be dead in a week with no one to save your skin!' 

A flush rose to Harry's cheeks and he coiled his fingers around his wand. Malfoy cut across him again. 

'Don't act as if it isn't true,' he snickered. 'You can't save your self for a magic carpet! Potter! Saving your life was on his to-do list between: _writing out my Christmas Cards_ and _ feeding the cat_!' 

'I… - I - who - maybe - only…' 

-*-*-*-*-* 

a/n I'm sorry if you hated that. I'm sorry if you thought I took to long. I'm just sorry in general. The question about Neville still stands. I'm leaning towards the confident conceited talented type, because even though most of you chose both (GREEDYNESS!) I think that was the what you wanted... ahem… yes, well… yeah. 

And any choice about couples? I mean, I was thinking of giving Ron a girlfriend. Pansy or something. No idea. I guess in AU it can be ANYTHING from Milicent Bulstrode to Justin Finch-Fletchy. 

This really does have a sort-of plot you know. It is there. Barely. 


	4. 42 Percent Blood Free

DISCLAIMER: You really think I've managed to get a claim over something since the last chapter? 

a/n: Will thank people next time. Too tired. Need sleep. Read on. 

**Neville Longbottom The Boy Who Lived**

**Chapter Three:** 42% Blood Free 

"Potter! Harry jumped away from Malfoy, almost wincing at the sharp voice of his Transfiguration professor. 

"Take your hands of Mr Dursley at once! You and your friends gave me you _word_ you would leave himm alone!" 

"_Excuse me?_" Malfoy spluttered. harry stared at McGonagall in amazement. Hadn't it been painfully obvious Malfoy was the one initiating the fight with his vice-like hands around _Harry's_ arm? 

She continued regardless. "I've been looking for you all morning. Please come with me." 

It took several hours for Harry to be fully examined by Madame Pomfrey and she still wasn't convinced his left shoulder was comepletely level with his right. SHe let him go on the confition he would report any loss of sight or ligaments straight away, and Harry was convinced she had the paintings follow him. 

He was twirling around in the lonely corridors trying to catch the paintings off guard when he ran into Ron and Malfoy poised to curse each other into oblivion. 

"...see how cocky you are now whe there aren't teachers around, shall we?" said Ron in a low, supposed-to-be menacing hiss. 

Malfoy's ivory teeth gleamed when they caught the torch light. "Is that a challenge or consent?" 

"... you what?" he snarled. 

"Poor Weasley, still onlyh managing one thought per minute..." He cocked an eyebrow at this private joke, acknowledging Harry. 

Harry groaned. 

"Eat slugs, Dursley!" _No!_ Harry shouted inwardly. He knew how this had ended last time... 

"Protego!" three very individual voices shouted. One cool, one weary and the last was one that had not graced the natural wizarding world since... 

"Lay off him, Malfoy." 

Harry choked on his own spit, and Malfoy greeted this voice with voice with very colourful swearing that impressed even himself. 

Harry Potter passed out completely. 

Though usually with an alabaster skin tone the blonde was noticeably a shade paler. "Now look what you're done!" he shouted almost shakily at Cedric Diggory. "You fuckin' freak!" 

Malfoy strode over and attempted half-heartedly to pull Potter up by the scruff of his robes. Cedric went about aiding Ron, though not to much effect. 

"Weasel you cannot afford to look at my robes. Keep that disgusting regurgitation away from me - GET UP." 

Harry lay stone still on the floor. 

Poppy Pomfrey arrivede in seconds. "I told tht boy he wasn';t all right, but did he listen? Children these days! Think they're invincible - Mr Dursley you shall brake the poor boys neck! Do not attempt to carry him like _that_!" 

Malfoy sniffed, "I'd call it _helping_." 

"Thank you, Vi," she said to the painting. "I had my instincts about this one. 

"Whatever..." 

"Mr Diggory! What in Heaven's name have you done to Mr Malfoy?" 

Draco scowled. "What are you _implying?_ I am in _impecca_ health!" 

"Help him up at once and follow Potter and I to the Imfirmary." Madame Pomfrey conjured up a stretcher for Harry and the three boys trailed after her without a word after Malfoy's - "don't lay a filthy finger on me, Diggory." 

Cedric haf watched him quizzically for a few seconds, then helped Ron to the Hospital Wing. 

* * *

Harry came to a couple of hours later when Draco was dozing lightly in a stiff wooden chair. 

Harry lay there for a minute and let the silence wash over him. His body was overcome with fatigue and he could barely think straight. _Okay..._ He thought. _Ron is lying in that bed... Draco Malfoy is sleeping in a chair with a lollipop in his mouth... I'm lying in bed... because... because? I... crap. I saw the freaking ghoast of Cedric Diggory!_

"MADAME POFREY! MADAME POMFREY!" 

Draco jumped out of his haze of sleep and the lollipop dropped into the lap of his robes and he cussed beatifully. 

THe matron rushed in into the room brandishing a dripping wet bedpan, "Cut out the shouting at once, Mr Potter! This is a Hospital Wing not a karaoke contest!" 

"No - no you don't _understand!_! I saw a _ghost_ - a real live _ghost_!" 

She ceased waving the bedpan. "Nonsense. All the ghoasts have been driven from this castel." She said that rather bitterly and her shoulders drooped slightly. 

"It's the medication," said Draco rather briskly. Madame Pomfrey hesitated for a second before nodding and returning to her quarters. 

"But _you_ saw him," Harry insisted. He tried sitting up but was still kind of woozy. 

Draco was being difficult. "Saw who?" 

"Cedric!" 

"I didn't notice." 

"YOU DID!" 

"Oh, you mean..." 

"YES!" 

"News flash, Potter. Diggory wasn't dead." 

Harry was bloody furious. "I SAW HIM DIE!" 

Draco said patiently. "You saw someone else die." 

"NO I DIDN'T! YOU SAID SOME THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!" 

The Slytherin drew a calming breath. 

"YOU SAID SOME THINGS CAN'T BE CHANGED! YOU _LIED_!" 

"Don't call me a fucking liar." He pushed a struggling Harry back onto the bed. The wave of dizziness in Harry's head disappeared. "I didn't say everything was the same. Bloodu Gryffindork's, all so DEMANDING. Diggory isn't rotting six feet under, now you've got nothing to mope about." 

Harry fumed inwardly. Though it had never come upon this ulternate universe physically, it was still painfully clear. _Why sisn't they UNDERSTAND? And he never MOPED!_

Harry had been holding his breath, but Madame Pomfrey was ignoring them. 

"Did anyone ask why I fainted?" said Harry in a small voice. Malfoy continued to glare at him and took his time twirling the blood flavoured lollipop between his teeth. 

"I told them the Weasel pushed you down the stairs, but I don't think she believed me. The bloody women kept shooting me off looks. I think she tried to poison me while I was sleeping. Either that or she's drugged my lolly." 

Harry snickered. "Lolly." 

"What?" said Draco defensively. 

"LOLLY!" 

Madame Pomfrey appeared in the doorway leering over them. "Boys, _enough_!" 

Harry continued to chuckle. "Sorry." 

"Get that Lollipop our of your mouth at ONCE!" screamed Madame Pomfrey in horror. "At once, BOY! Do you want to be suspended? Or better yet - _ EXPELLED_!" 

Draco tried to look nonchalant, but he was goddamn confused! His eyebrows arched automatically. "It's forty two percent blood free." 

But Madame Pomfrey prompty snatched the sweet thing out of his hands, 

"Evanesco!" she whispered, casting her eyes worriedly to portraits. They shot her supporting, loyal looks. 

"T'is nothing we cannot keep to ourselves," smiled an elderly Viking with a chubby face and glimmering blonde hair topped with a spiked hat. "No worries, Poppy. Where would our Imfirmary be without the shrieking of healing patients?" 

Pomfrey immediately stiffened when the foor opened, but it was only professor McGOnagall. She sniffed the air like a cat, but shook her head to clear it. "i heard Potter was in here again. I thought Black was up to another one of his tricks again." She paused in fond thought. "Really, who ever heard of the _'Lying Disease'..._?" 

"Yes," chuckled Madame Pomfrey. "We had poor Granger in here for a week. The distressed lass was in here for over a week denying there was anything wrong with her. She was _devistated_ at having missed so much..." 

McGonagall coughed to disguise a sudden itch of laughter. "He and his gang McGonagall caught herself. She was horr struck. 

"A moment in your office after you've finished tending to Mr Potter and Mr mafoy, Poppy?" 

"Yes...," she consented faintly. "Make yourself a cup of coffee. I won't be a minute, there're mugs next to the kettle." 

Malfoy grunted when there was a break in conversation. "I'm _fine_ -" 

But Madame Pomfrey was not making her way over to Malfoy. On the contrary, she was waddling towards a glassy eyed redhead. 

Both Harry Potter and Draco Dursley lost their last thread of consciousness. 


End file.
